One liners

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.



4. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral : BE SPECIFIC


5. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.


6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.



8. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.



9. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for"
- Albert Einstein


10. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

11. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.

12. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

13. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

14. Father: A banker provided by nature.

15. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

16. Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

17. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

18. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.